News

Woodsman Gone Missing

by Wilson Wrightwrub, Publisher/Editor, Dirt Cove Press

Whereabouts of missing woodsman not known
The search resumed today at daybreak for woodsman Charles "Chuck" Hookey in the Boggy Gulch area of Dirt Cove. The 35 year old Dirt Cove man was last seen chasing two youths off of his 11 hectare estate. "He owned almost all the woods. You couldn't help but trespass," one of the youths, whose identity is being protected, stated. When the youths returned to the area later that day they were not bothered. Doug Noseworthy was riding his ATV through the area and also noted the woodsman's absence.

Before he was found there was no sign of him
"He usually shoots at ya or something," remarked Mr. Noseworthy during the search. "Whenever we come through on the trikes he'd be savage like a dog or somethin' right? He's the same in winter when we be's on the snowmobiles. Always shouting at ya. But today it was different so we got concerned."

After several berrypickers had also complained that they had not been bothered, a call was placed to the RCMP. There was no answer. The Dirt Cove Volunteer Firefighters formed a search part at 7:30 PM last evening but poor visibility due to drunkenness forced the men to give up.

Corpse found dead
The worst was feared when two local dogs were shot outside the home of Mrs. Muriel Codbread. "I seen the dogs at my washing so I shot they and I saw the plaid shirt in their teeth so I figured they was after eatin' poor Mr. Hookey," claimed Mrs. Codbread. "But when I cleaned the animals there was no body inside."

The mangled corpse was found in the woods by some local children. After they had played with it for a while they told their parents of their grizzly discovery. "I seen the blood on the youngster and I never thought of it 'til I noticed that it wasn't his shade," one of the boys' parents told the Dirt Cove Press. "That's when we called the police but we never got no answer."

Not expected to recover
"Recovery from this state [death] is somewhat rare," said Dr. N. Naryanaliddlam, in a phone interview from his clinic in Upper Lower Cove. When pressed on the matter, however, he later admitted "... you sometimes see such things in horror movies."

Mr. Hookey is allegedly dead from a long fall and trauma to the groin. It is not known if the trauma is self-inflicted. The body will be kept at Sully's Meat Shoppe in the freezer until someone answers the phone at the RCMP. Mr. Hookey is currently resting in the Waking Room located at the side entrance of the butcher shop.

Search may be called off
Officials are expected to soon call off the search for the missing man who was found.

Visit our sponsor!